Woke up feeling totally under the weather this morning. It was quite a struggle to roll out of bed and get ready for work. I’ve been suffering from sore throat since last night and I think I may have caught a cold over the weekend. I feel really sick. And to top it all off, it just so happened that it’s the 1st day of my monthly visitor. Should I call this a bad day? Of course not! At least I finally found a good excuse to curl up in my comfy bed the whole day – awesome! While I was still in bed planning how this lazy day should go, I felt the sudden urge to get up and have my breakfast. I realized that I just couldn’t stay in bed the entire day, it will just worsen my condition. Of course I still want to remain productive while on sick leave. So after having my hot coffee and bread, I headed straight to my little space at home which I (and my sisters) call “the craft room”. Tell you what, as soon as I entered, it was a total mess! Everything’s just out of order! Not that I haven’t used the place, in fact, this is the room where I spend most of my time at home. Maybe because I’m always busy doing some stuff, I failed to notice how disorganized I have become. Well at least I have all day to put everything in it's proper place.
As I try to clear up my work table, some memories began to fill my mind. It was late 2013 when we moved in this house. Papa was very hands on in the renovation with the little help from his daughters. I remember how I have convinced papa to save this little room for me. I thought it would be a great room for me to dream, plan and execute ideas from my not-so-creative mind. At that time, I just finished a bag design and construction workshop at my dream fashion school. Everything seemed to fall into place. I thought I could begin making a name for myself and do what I’ve always wanted to do. And that soon, my creations would be featured in fashion magazines or even on television. You gotta dream big right? Haha! I guess you can say I was after the fame and fortune. I even started my little accessories business as a stepping stone to my so called dream career. I remember how I would stay up late just to finish customized orders from my very supportive friends. It kind of gave me a nice feeling that at last, I can start something on my own. I thought I was so close to living my dream until God awakened my worldly and sinful heart. Clearly, I was all after my selfish ambition. My motives were just all wrong. I have totally forgotten about my true identity in Christ as I chased after the worldly desires of my heart. I wanted to please my parents, impress my friends and take pride in what I can accomplish. It was all about me, myself and I. I took aside the call of being a child of God as it would be a big hindrance to my dream. My relationship with the Lord Jesus soon became “on the rocks.” My prayer life was not really a priority, rather, it was just a means for God to listen to my self-centered prayers. I asked the Lord the He would bless my work and make me successful in the eyes of the world. Believe me, God answered my prayer. He answered it with a big NO. And that NO from God has become another turning point in my Christian walk. It’s easy for all of us to just go with the flow. Sometimes we become so blinded by the sugar coating of this messed up world that we forget who we are and what we are made for. I tried to find happiness on things that this fleeting world offers because I have forgotten about God – I even played God. I have wandered away from the Shepherd of my soul. Just when I thought that things were all under my control, God made a twist to the path I’ve set for myself. It’s just amazing how God works in the life of His children. No matter how hard we try to plan the course of our lives, He will always show us His power and sovereignty, because His plan will always prevail. By His grace, He revealed to me my sinfulness and opened the eyes of my heart. Through the Holy Spirit, He spoke to my heart in His Word – “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.” – Romans 12:1-2 Now, I understand why God has blessed me with this room. This is the room where I spend my private time with the Lord. This is now where I do my devotions, Bible study and preparations for our Sunday School and other church ministries. I am offering this little room to God that He may allow me to use it for His glory. Don’t you think I should give this room a new name? Can’t think of any quirky name right now. Will have to think about that next time. =) My sisters, let us not give up in prayer, faith and perseverance. Let us continue running the race that God has marked out for each one of us with all wisdom and grace. Angelica P.S. Will try to post a pic of this room once it's all decluttered!=)
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Nothing really fancy here, the lack of eloquence is very evident. Just sharing my thoughts - straight from the heart. Archives
September 2017
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