In this post, I am not going to share about the lost bright colored fish in the Pixar movie that we all loved. I just want to share something I have not yet found. Well I'm not even sure if it's something I should still look for in this time and uh, age. Just last week as my dad was having his morning tea in the office while I was getting my stuff for work, he asked me strangely in a sweet tone:
"Ange, my friend wants to introduce you to his friend's son. Would you like to meet him?" Without even thinking I immediately declined my father's proposal to which he didn't seem to be surprised. He must've expected my answer since we've had this kind of conversation several times in the past. He looked really disappointed and I felt very sorry for him. Oh how I pray that he would soon understand why. I do believe though that he has his good intention, but I have to stand firm in my conviction. If you are in your late 20's and unmarried like me, we are probably on the same page. In the Chinese language, "Kai Xiao" refers to a way a man and a woman are being introduced to each other in the hopes that a friendship would soon lead to marriage. This is definitely what my dad is trying to get me into and sadly, his plan failed (again) this time. I remember when I graduated from college, I experienced this kind of set up when my dad and his friend introduced me to a total stranger. I was very young then so I really had no choice but to show up out of my respect to my father and uncle. We just met over dinner with his family and it was very awkward that my entire family was there too. If you can only imagine the evil smiles my sisters were giving me! Really annoying. Anyway, nothing close to a fairy tale happened that night. We just exchanged our numbers before we went our separate ways. So that was my first Kai Xiao experience. I think my parents somehow expected that it would turn out well but since I refused to continue dating someone who didn't share the same beliefs as mine, I knew it had to end. There were other decent guys I was introduced to but I would always say that I'm not interested. Later on I've realized that it's wrong to give my parents false hopes by engaging in this kind of set up. I eventually learned to say NO every time an auntie or an uncle would try introduce me to a potential partner. It was quite a challenge because they would always ask me why and I would always tell them that I prefer someone who is also a Christian. And by that I mean someone who don't just go to church on Sundays but a man who is mature in the faith and who loves the Lord more than anything else. (Maybe we can talk more about that next time in my future post.) Honestly, whenever I get asked why I'm still single I used to say that "I'm just not ready to enter a relationship yet". But that answer was only acceptable when I was in my early 20's. This year I'll be turning 28 and it would be funny to give the same reason behind my single status. So... I guess it's about time that I come up with another excuse, haha! Well the truth is, I don't really know. Up to this day I still can't imagine myself being married. I have nothing against it though, but in my heart I've always believed that God is leading me to different path. Marriage is a God-designed relationship and I do believe in its beauty and value which illustrates Christ's relationship with the church. But I also believe that marriage is not a gift for everyone as I have known people who have remained single their whole lives. Even the apostle Paul did not marry for God has willed it. At this point in my life I'm still trying the fight the pressure of being married at this age as the world imposes it. I know there will be seasons of loneliness and aloneness in a single's life but I must put my trust in the Almighty God who holds and preserves my heart for His purpose. Whether He is leading me to marriage or singleness, His perfect love shall always give me eternal joy, hope and peace. His presence shall comfort me when my heart is troubled. His Word shall be my assurance of the good that is yet to be revealed from life's difficulties. I pray that may the Lord give me wisdom and strength as I live not in search for "the one", but in the anticipation of being in the presence of the One True God. So yes, I will not worry if I will be able to wear a beautiful white dress and exchange vows with the man of my dreams in this life or not for that is already something I have entrusted to God. After all, as a member of His body, I will always be a bride of Christ. Angelica
1 Comment
The DayDreamer
9/2/2016 11:18:04 am
Let me just clarify something: I learned that there are arguments about the apostle Paul being married because it was required as a member of the Sanhedrin. It was not mentioned though that he became one but some believe that he seemed to be heading to that path before his conversion. In short, there was a 'possibility' of him being married. Some even say that he was a widower referring to 1 Corinthians 7:8.
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Nothing really fancy here, the lack of eloquence is very evident. Just sharing my thoughts - straight from the heart. Archives
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